Losing a friend because of wanting to be more than friends

It's official. This 6th day of June, year 2008, I think I've lost a friend.

I've been in not-so-good relationships before, have had several regrets, but I never lost a friend before – not this way.

I have nothing else to blame but my erratic emotions. One moment I’m okay, the other I’m weeping and drowning myself in tears because of the unrequited love. I am blaming myself. It’s all my fault. Only that I wished he was more straightforward and just dumped me. I wish he just told me that he doesn’t like me nothing more than a friend than suffering 7 months of hoping.

I miss the times we’ve spent together as friends. I only have the memory of the Sky is the limit, mcdonald’s, pizza, Timezone, Friday’s, G4, MRT, LRT, UST, UP, Bahay ng Alumni, Mini-stop, Cubao, dimsum and dumplings, I am Legend, Fazolis, Jack’s loft, Decades, Metrowalk, Viva, Recto, 7/11, P.Noval, Taxi rides without aircon, flyff, dota, 11,000 pesos worth of calls, jamming, videoke, Japanese series, youtube vids, petty quarrels… the list goes on.

I am so effed up. I miss the friend he was to me. I miss the times that we were “okay”. Though I’ll never forget the times that he screwed up, accusing me of things and then at the end it’s me who’s at fault. I had my own share of mistakes. Pride created the distance, prejudice destroyed us, and my love was wasted.

Eventually, I’m going to be okay.

XOXO

Can a person be defined by his financial standing in society? Is it really a big deal? Should it be? When I was younger, I used to think that it doesn't matter. But now that i've finished college, getting "older" every year, my view on this issue has changed. In some ways, yes, money is not everything. Money, however, is something. It doesn't buy happiness exactly, but it can buy some things that can bring happiness.

Please comment on this. :)