The one who left you is a LOSER

I’m used to ranting about being to deeply in-love or infatuated with someone. I define it with all the sacrifices and simple sweet gestures, the inspiration, bliss excitement and of course the misunderstandings, petty quarrels and arguments. There is no doubt it makes me feel “complete”, sometimes it’s too much that I’m already preoccupied.

But what happens after the relationship is very crucial. Things happen for a reason they said. Trials are there to make us strong, as they say. But how can something so hurtful and frustrating be something that can make us strong?

I have been asking a lot of questions to myself (most of the times I can’t really answer). Why did he fell out of love? What have I done that made him go away? Or What the F is wrong with him? I did everything already! Ah!

The aftermath of a relationship is indistinct. I mean, there a lot of possibilities, countless. Some become friends or remain “civil” to each other while others become really cold like they don’t know each other anymore. The latter happened to me. The day came when he didn’t love me anymore and gosh he was as cold as ice. So as you can see, it was really frustrating for me.

With the help of friends, I got to understand my worth. They would say “I can’t believe he did that…” or “How could he?”… and those were my questions to myself too. Anyway, as time passed by, after I was done mourning and being such a drama queen, I realized I was wasting my tears and well, I just have to move on. I think everybody should do that. Be resilient! Maybe there’s just a difference on the length of time of letting go, but I think eventually, people just don’t know but they’re already moving on and letting go.

It’s a nice feeling. Letting go because you love yourself and you wouldn’t want to suffer anymore. Sometimes a special friend will be a great help.

For me, letting go of someone who has hurt you a lot is achievement. It just goes to show that yes, I’m stronger…and well, the person who left you is a loser.



Encounter with tito Dolphy

I was outside the room of Dr. Lopez and Dr. Aquino waiting for coverage. I was busy thinking about random things when suddenly I heard a distinctly low voice that immediately stimulated my senses. I knew right then and there that it’s the voice of a celebrity. It’s Dolphy. I was star struck! I didn’t know what to do should I talk to him? Should I ask for his autograph? Should I take a picture with him? It’s not everyday that you meet an Icon like dolphy you know.

A co-medrep sat beside me and I told him about my dilemma. He insists on me having a picture taken with Dolphy. It took me roughly 10 minutes to gather myself and have the guts to approach Dolphy.

Audrey: Hi po. Pde po pa-picture?

Dolphy: Sige sige.

Male medrep: (sitting beside dolphy) Ako na kukuha ng picture nyo.

Audrey: Thanks.

Click!

Audrey: Thanks!

I wanted to stay beside dolphy so I had to say something.

Audrey: Tito Dolphy ang cute naman ng shirt mo. Color pink! (It was a fuschia or hot pink Lacoste polo shirt and he was wearing nike shoes)

Dolphy: Pink ba to? Diba red to?

Audrey: Di kaya! (Feeling close! Haha!)

Dolphy: Ah ganun ba?

Audrey: Tito dolphy papicture ulet.

This time, I was the one who took the picture. I used my right hand and directed the picture from a high angle.

CLICK!

Dolphy: (looks at picture) Isa pa. Tapyas ka jan e.

Audrey: Sige po, isa pa.

Click!

Dolphy: Ayan!

Audrey: Thank you po ulet. You know I like Fasifika Falayfay.

Dolphy: Ah Fasifika. Chuckles. Salamat.

Audrey: Trying to make an exit. Sige po Tito Dolphy. Thanks ulit. See you po again. Bye.

And walks away….

Ahahahahahha!

Congratulations to the new Nurses of 2009

Here's a link for the the November 2009 Nursing Licensure Examinations results:

http://nursingboardexam2009.blogspot.com/2009/02/nurse-licensure-examination-result_20.html

Now the real challenge begins. Finding a job. :)

So proud to be pinoy talaga! and a relative too...

Fil-Am joins Oscars Designer Challenge

By Ruben V. Nepales
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 23:24:00 02/12/2009

LOS ANGELES, California—Alan del Rosario, a civil engineer-turned-designer from Cebu, is one of seven fashion talents selected to create a gown to be worn by one of the trophy presenters at the Academy Awards on Feb. 22.

Alan, an LA-based couturier whose prestigious awards include California’s “Designer of the Year” and GenArt LA’s “Fresh Face,” was picked by Oscar fashion coordinator Patty Fox as among the designers who will come up with specially commissioned gowns to be on the spotlight on Oscar night. The others are Maria Pinto (US First Lady Michelle Obama’s favorite designer), Robert Rodriguez, Nicolas Putvinski, Sam Kori George, Moire Conroy and Marianne Kooimans.

We met Alan in an event presided by Patty, author of the book “Star Style at the Academy Awards,” last Tuesday at the Academy’s headquarters in Beverly Hills. We’ll write more about him in our column Saturday.

The winner in the Oscars Designer Challenge will be determined by the public through online voting—a first in the history of the Academy. To view more pictures and video footage of Alan’s gown entry and to vote for him, log on to www.oscar.com. Anyone over 18 can register and vote once on Feb. 17 until 5 p.m., Pacific Time. The winner will be announced on the Oscar night red carpet on Feb. 22. Good luck, Alan!

YEP! THAT’S MY UNCLE ALAN! PLEASE VOTE FOR HIM AT THE OSCARS DESIGNER CHALLENGE.

HERE’S THE LINK — > http://oscar.com/play/?pnvote

Whoa!

I would like to apologize for not posting for so long. I've been busy. ^_^

I promise to update soon!

Real Love is...

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
- Captain Corelli's Mandolin. "Love is the beauty of the soul." --St. Augustine

What's written above it's true. I think you have to experience love to be able to prove that what has been said here it's true.

There's also another side of this definition which entails one of the partners to "fight" for love. Fighting, meaning doing almost everything to make her/his counterpart not just fall in love but to love him/her. It's not an easy task but those who have given up doing this might say that you can't push someone to love you.

SSS - Super Selos Syndrome

Most Filipinos say that women are naturally "selosa". Well, i know a lot of girls out there would disagree that this trait, which is the equivalent of being jealous in English, is not something to be proud of.

I just feeling like writing about this topic because I feel that I have the SSS. I realized recently that I easily get jealous of other girls that go near my special guy. Not just go near actually, but when he appears to be interested or mentions a name of a girl during our conversations, i would readily react violently.

I know it's not healthy for me to feel that way. I actually confessed it straight to him that I get easily pissed off when he mentions certain situations wherein a girl appears to be attracted or interested in him. I know that this SSS is a personal issue that I have to work on.

I tried to evaluate myself and tried to find the cause of this syndrome. Well, mostly it's because of my past relationships. 1 or 2 found another girl "better" than me, or it's because i just think negatively of myself. I need to boost myself and think positively of my guy. Like I always tell him, I trust him, but I don't trust all the other girls out there. Haha! Most girls can get a man if the want to but it's still the man's decision if he will fall for the trap or not.

Anyway, I'm going out of the topic already. If you've read this blog, maybe you can post any tips on how to lessen my SSS and stop being selosa!

Mark John D. | mmark

It's the name of my first childhood crush. It's also the 2 most famous names in the bible. It's the name of a friend in gg (game platform) and also the name of the person who saved my heart.

When you search his name in google (with his last name, of course), you will get a link to page announcing to an LG contest involving Ragnarok. =)

Mmark is his account name in gg or garena and we've been "buddies" for more than a year. We first knew each other in a game called DOTA, a map in warcraft and TreeTag. He constantly says hi in ym and in the game platform but i was too busy to even reply. I didn't know what I was missing 'till that one day we had time to chat.

Why am I talking about this name? Simple. Because it belongs to a person who has made me love again. He has shown me another reason to breathe, another reason to live my life at its fullest and I want to thank him for that.

Though we're still exclusively dating I can feel our genuine concern for each other - and that's important. He has taught me a lot of things (though he apparently doesn't know that) and I'm still learning. I guess the number of past relationships is not really proportional to one's "relationship IQ". I am an example.

I'm hoping that this relationship will grow and that we'll stay as loyal and as true to each other.
I wonder when will we be officially "in a relantionship"? =p

Losing a friend because of wanting to be more than friends

It's official. This 6th day of June, year 2008, I think I've lost a friend.

I've been in not-so-good relationships before, have had several regrets, but I never lost a friend before – not this way.

I have nothing else to blame but my erratic emotions. One moment I’m okay, the other I’m weeping and drowning myself in tears because of the unrequited love. I am blaming myself. It’s all my fault. Only that I wished he was more straightforward and just dumped me. I wish he just told me that he doesn’t like me nothing more than a friend than suffering 7 months of hoping.

I miss the times we’ve spent together as friends. I only have the memory of the Sky is the limit, mcdonald’s, pizza, Timezone, Friday’s, G4, MRT, LRT, UST, UP, Bahay ng Alumni, Mini-stop, Cubao, dimsum and dumplings, I am Legend, Fazolis, Jack’s loft, Decades, Metrowalk, Viva, Recto, 7/11, P.Noval, Taxi rides without aircon, flyff, dota, 11,000 pesos worth of calls, jamming, videoke, Japanese series, youtube vids, petty quarrels… the list goes on.

I am so effed up. I miss the friend he was to me. I miss the times that we were “okay”. Though I’ll never forget the times that he screwed up, accusing me of things and then at the end it’s me who’s at fault. I had my own share of mistakes. Pride created the distance, prejudice destroyed us, and my love was wasted.

Eventually, I’m going to be okay.

XOXO

Can a person be defined by his financial standing in society? Is it really a big deal? Should it be? When I was younger, I used to think that it doesn't matter. But now that i've finished college, getting "older" every year, my view on this issue has changed. In some ways, yes, money is not everything. Money, however, is something. It doesn't buy happiness exactly, but it can buy some things that can bring happiness.

Please comment on this. :)

effed up

Here I am, practically unemployed, enjoying life at it’s fullest. Bumming around, spending time with my sisters and having the time to see movies. Oh, I’m not so proud about the being unemployed part but that’s another story.

What a bad intro for a blog. Haha. I just so have so much to say. I’m overwhelmed by the “having too much time” and “having so much to do” and “So much time”. I am used to ranting about wanting to do a lot of things and not having the time to do so. But now that I actually have the time, everything seems to be different. Somehow, it’s less thrilling and I just have “so much time”. So much time that I am actually about to finish this paragraph which only contains the idea that I have a lot of time.

Phew. I’m glad there’s always another paragraph. Haha. Anyhow, I’d just like to wrap up what happened to my first week of “vacation”. Yep! Vacash! I just recently resigned from being a slave to a company I am not allowed to mention. Slave is an exaggeration of course. I don’t want to give you the idea that I resigned because they were abusing me or that the company I worked for was abusive at all. It was a choice I made out of the blue.

Blue. Yep. Let us say I’m using blue as a symbol for something that I want to be. It’s a status in the academic world. I’m currently stucked-up with that, still deciphering on how I should reveal to the world what happened with my plans.

I would like to apologize to the person who’s currently reading this. Obviously, my mind is in such mess and I am going against the main point of this blog. I want to tell the world what’s happening but I can’t. I just can’t because of my ego.

Time will come when I have actually collected so much of myself and have gathered all the strength and I will gladly shout to the world what happened. Meanwhile, It’s me and conscience.

OMG! I almost forgot what I was supposed to tell you about. What happened this past week. Well, I just saw a movie – “What happens in Vegas”, got my n93 g-masked (with studs and stones!), got sick – hyperacidity (and frickin heartburn), fixed my clearance (at work).

Haha. I’m such a mess…so ‘effed up!

Unsolicited comments

Special thanks to people who place comments in my blog in friendster and in my profile. It goes to show that somehow there is something that struck them and they made conscious effort to type in some words and express themselves.

I'm writing this not with remorse or anger; rather with a big question mark in my head.

I have committed a lot of mistakes in the past that I chose not to regret. I could say that "I didn't know that he...", that "I knew but he insisted" and that I could have resisted to fall in love but I've fallen. I can honestly say that I displayed efforts or resistance to break but I just bended.

I knew there were people that will be hurt because I was hurt too. An affair is a product of selfish evil intentions. It's bad but sometimes it brings out so much good in you. I didn't break anything when I allowed things to happen. I bended.

I was going to say I'm sorry but I am having second thoughts. I would be a hypocrite if i said that I am giving my deepest apologies to the people who are mad at me. I am sorry in one way or another but not to them/you. Haha.

*Contradictions are exciting thoughts. Makes me fumble and jump from one idea to another.

This entry doesn't have much meaning. This is just a violent reaction to a comment posted in my friendster blog. I erased it by the way because it wasn't even meaningless. If you know what I mean. The one who wrote that must assess first what happened and not let prejudice rule her anger.

Gladiator in me

Sometimes I do what I want to do. The rest of the time, I do what I have to.

But now, I have awaken from a deep slumber and I will do now what I want and have to do.

It's been a long sleep and I've had enough rest.

Almost there

I failed the ALS admission examinations. My parents were so sad and I couldn't stop crying. I didn't know what to do. I was so devastated and almost lost my sanity. Then suddenly my phone alarm rang and I woke up. It was just a dream.

I was too engrossed in knowing if I passed or failed the exams and I was refreshing the admission results page of ALS almost every 30 minutes. I was at work then and I couldn't concentrate. 3pm came and I had to go home, still no results for the 2008 ALS admission exams.

I just couldn't get it out of my mind. Thinking if I don't pass, what would I do? What would I say to the people who believed in me? How about my parents? What would they say? Will I cry like a baby?

I went straight to my computer when i got home. The ALS homepage was already bookmarked in my browser so I just had to click it. When I clicked on the Ateneo Law School Admission Results link it was just blank and the lower left corner of the browser says DONE. I knew that it was already posted. I refreshed the page, my eyes just went straight looking for A... AR... ARU... I couldn't find it! I skipped a beat and then I saw a link that said for interview. My name was there! I didn't feel too good about it nor disappointed. At least I still have a chance... a chance to pass... or fail!

I'm halfway there. I just wish that I will know how to answer the panel. I don't want to impress them at all. Rather, I wish that they could see the potential in me and be able to fully assess my abilities. I want them to feel my eagerness to go into the Ateneo Law School and be a Lawyer someday.

Thou shall not count the eggs before they hatch

Minutes from now, the results of the Ateneo School of Law admission exams will be released. I shall be waiting for it to be posted at exactly 00:0 0 of April 1, 2008, hoping to see my name in the list of those who passed.

You can only imagine how nervous I am. My dad would always say that he's not pressuring us at all but in one or two of his daily anecdotes, he never fails to mention that nobody from our clan failed the entrance exams yet. This would get me to thinking that if I fail, it would be a disgrace to our clan. So much for pressure. But then again, that would be an exaggeration.

On the other hand, I really wish I pass because i already announced to the public (old friends, officemates and acquaintances) that I'll be taking up law. It will be awkward if they see me still working in a call center after all that publicity. I shouldn't count the eggs before they are hatched. Lesson learned.

If I pass, I promise myself that I will do my best to stay in Law school. Some say it's quite easy to get in but hard to stay because they screen them during the first 2 semesters. Again, don't count the eggs.

Now, if I don't pass, (oh how I wish I pass) I'll pursue my career in pharmacy and continue working in the bpo company I'm currently working for. I'll wait for this year's LAE at UP instead. =)

The moment truth is near. I'll probably post another blog after I see the results.

*dokun dokun* says my heart.

on creating legallypinay.blogspot.com part II

I kept my promise! I said I would write more.

I created this new account for me to express more of me and my interests. I think that the ability to write and express yourself is a gift that nobody can easily take away from you. Like right now, nothing can stop me from typing "this". Not unless the lights would suddenly go out. But then again! I'm using a laptop so I can still save my work. See! haha!

I'm just sooooo excited about what I will be writing here in the future. I can't wait to write the results of my Law entrance exams, my summer escapade with EA, Puerto Galera, the book that i'm reading, my salary, call centers, love, passion, lotsa lotsa stuff.

Hope I can share this with a lot of people especially those of my age and those who are facing the "quarter-life crises". =)

on creating legallypinay.blogspot.com

I'm so excited in creating my 4th blog already here in blogspot. Hopefully, this will be the one that I will be able to maintain for who knows till when. I have created this simultaneously with my 2nd multiply account -> www.legallypinay.multiply.com.

So why legally pinay? You might think it was inspired from the movie "Legally blonde". If you thought so, well, you're correct. "Legally black" (my hair color) would sound like I'm a racist and "legally dark brown" wouldn't make any sense. So I ended up with "Legally Pinay" and thought yeah, it's kinda cute. :)

More on creating legallypinay in the future. :)